A quick note on compatibility.

We look at horoscopes, sun signs, moon signs; We discuss, we argue, we fight. We analyze, explain, defend;

Patience, understanding, communication, love, respect, care…

We need this basket full of goodies for survival!

Is it all too much to expect for? Do we really have so much time in our lives to maintain certain relationships?

Family aside, when a relationship is no longer working, it boils down to compatibility. A compatibility issue can be defined as, “a potential stage in a relationship when one or more persons do not want to spend the time and effort required to develop and maintain the 'basket of goodies.'"

The more I tried to define compatibility another way, it boiled down to this definition ultimately. Absolute compatibility can ideally be achieved with everyone, but as rational individuals, we act to maximize benefits given budget (time/effort) constraints.

For those who excuse themselves from a relationship because of a compatibility issue, I have a scary thought for you to consider.

Most men are still attracted to women, and vice versa. But what of the compatibility between men and women?

Confusion of gender roles, heightened miscommunications and misunderstandings over the years, busy schedules, globalization, and the changing world and changing generation- all of these require a larger basket of goodies!

To top it all off, increased rationality!

In this rational world, will men and women find each other to be compatible???

And does that further imply that perhaps single-hood or lesbian/gay-hood (not to be confused with homosexual in the genetic sexual orientation sense) are consequences of individuals’ rational choices?

Love Me if You Dare

;-)

On the Ninth

Facebook has developed a new application called “Photo Memories,” which picks random photo albums you are tagged in, and places those albums on the side of your homepage or on a little picture frame on your “facebook desk” as I like to think of it. Once again, some technology, some programming, and human brain have created a gesture that caters to the human emotion of nostalgia.

I find myself often clicking that link, looking at perhaps forgotten moments, and the memories come rushing back. That gush of emotion that occurs from running into those pictures unexpectedly on my facebook desk very closely follows the emotions that well up upon finding some old pictures buried in a box under your bed while doing a yearly cleanup. This use of technology to virtually mimic an emotion formerly derived from a physical hands-on finding, though scary on some level, facilitates a smiling nostalgia in my heart from time to time.

I never know how to deal with nostalgia. It’s like being on the edge of a cliff, with your arms wide open, eyes closed, drifting closer and closer towards the intangible, while trying to hold on to solid ground. It requires some degree of precision and some optimization mechanisms.

I laid down in the backseat of the car last night, thinking back to the days when I was very very little. We’d go on long road trips with the family. I’d find my comfortable spot, lay down in the backseat at an angle where I could only see the blue, no ground, and no horizon. I’d study the clouds, theorizing in my child brain how if I tried enough, if I searched enough to unlock the mysteries of the world, I would see God or gods or heaven in these clouds.

Little did I know then that I’d finally settle with a heaven in my epsilon neighborhood, and moreover accept it with a placid calm rather than a frustrated anguish.

The tease of nostalgia is only palatable when a certain degree of maturity precedes it.

Ping! And I’ve been google IMed back on to the solid carpet of my room in Coral Springs, Florida.

Those were my nine minutes on cloud nine. ;-)

Get Lucky

A brand called, “Lucky” has created a super cute yellow bag that had caught my eye in Macy’s. I bought it despite it being a little more expensive than my usual purse/bag purchases. I am now discovering that this lucky bag is actually more me than it looks on first glance.

I have often been reminded by my mother or my friends to close the zipper to my bag or to button it up while walking. Even in the busiest market streets in India, I could not get myself to stop and zip up my bag, because I would need to open it again in just a few minutes! While most people prefer zipper bags for the security they offer, I find them to be inconvenient. I prefer a tote bag or one with a button, despite its risky nature.

When paying for a coffee at Starbucks, it is a hassle to find an efficient way to place your card back in your wallet, and then securely into your purse. The person behind you does not care for your wallet to be so extremely secure, and merely wants his/her dose of caffeine to get on with his/her life.

So, to expedite the process of securely packing up your valuables at a cash register without ticking off the person behind you, my yellow bag is quite efficient. It does not have a primary button that needs to be “buttoned”. No primary zippers. It’s got this invisible magnet button thing. The only requirement is to open the flap, place contents in it, and gravity will allow the flap to fall down, letting the magnet do its job. Even the two smaller square pockets in the front follow the same algorithm!

It’s got my carefree style, with my favorite yellow, and it provides me with the necessary security needed. Someone else must have had similar issues, enough to create demand for a bag such as this, and then some other person must have found my issues significant enough to make this lucky bag!

Ah! Isn’t it nice when such minute little details that used to subtly bother you have been addressed, and you have actually encountered the solution in this lifetime, in Macy’s, of all places!

It’s the same joy I get from Pandora, when it goes through an hour worth of music that is simply me me me! It’s when Carry Bradshaw knows what you go through in your personal life, and offers you her perspective on it!

Sometimes, you just get lucky. Your demands are so adequately met by an equilibrium so satisfying. In a huge world with myriad little details, the probabilities of your seemingly inconsequential issues being addressed are so tiny! All the more reason why such an event can contribute significantly to the happiness level of your day. The realization of having found this subtle equilibrium is, of course, key to this joy.

It’s just good to know you’re not alone in your madness and crazy little obsessions! I hope this blog post provides the same comfort to the reader that my lucky bag provides me with : )