Gatsby Got Greater (alliteration?) I thought about this
phrase right outside my house while parking the car. I wanted to hold on to it,
just like I often want to hold on to the potential titles of my never written
never posted blog posts, in moments of small and large epiphanies such as this
one. I needed to get inside my room, in that perfect dim light, which people
often wonder why I created: for moments like these! I
mostly know myself and what drives and motivates me. I understand myself, not in logic, but in emotion. Yet, I am not sure that
people speak emotion anymore, but I attempt to articulate nonetheless.
I knew I wanted to get to my laptop soon, so that I could
stay in the movie, and think out-write my realizations. I want to now run my
thoughts in slow motion while I type as fast as I can to capture it all. Nick
Carraway was the protagonist of the book, not the Great Gatsby. I was told this
in my class.
I was in 11th grade then. I wondered how it could be
that I had read a whole book, and I could not know that the book was about Nick
– how could I have missed that? And why wasn’t it
mind boggling to the rest of us? Did those discussions from class matter to others as much as they did to me? Do the people in the movie theater see what I understood? My drive back from
the theater was like when you wake up from a dream, and want to hold on to every
possible thought, yet it is impossible to keep it intact the way you truly
dreamt it, if you dreamt it at all.
Nick starts the book, as I remember being highlighted in my
class when I was 16, on judging – how he makes for a great narrator because he
is not inclined to judging and making judgments. He often mentions that he was
"again within and without", living and observing at the same time. Nevertheless,
in the whole book, and in the whole movie, he never speaks or truly gives
opinions. The billboard of God-like watching eyes symbolize his quiet watching. And I just connected
what stood out to me during the movie; Gatsby mentions that he kissed Daisy and
waited…waited because he knew he could not be God anymore…he could not because
he had to live and love, love this girl, and forget the neutrality that can only be retained as an observer. Towards the end, Nick could
also not resist but make judgments and have opinions and passionately lash out
when he was appalled at the world around him – when he was disgusted.
This is why Nick was the protagonist, and not Gatsby, my
English teacher had mentioned. Nick was dynamic, Gatsby was static. It stood
out to me then as a definition – but I dwelled on it over the years to
understand it as I often do. It connects perfectly with the changing world,
with the first law of life, and the only constant being change – that is life.
A character is not living and it is not his own story unless he hits a conflict
and comes out with a resolution or personal growth. Gatsby got Nick to live, by just being him.
Nick gives Gatsby the only compliment – “..they’re all rotten..all of those
people are rotten…you’re worth the whole bunch..” The friend I watched the movie with could not understand how I
remembered the class and the discussions so distinctly. That class either ruined me or was one of the best things that happened to me- it got me to connect and articulate the deep, it got me to think.
I always knew Math and English were my favorite subjects,
and I always get excited when there are a few people that tell me these two are their favorite subjects. I think I can take a stab at the seemingly odd connection between the two. I recently discovered on my journey
that emotion and thought are two completely different things - that one cannot directly impact the other without the larger forces of Time and Life at work. I knew I loved Math because it was
the language of logic. Why English? Why Language? Why Literature? The language
of emotion, I think..
F. Scott Fitzgerald gave the world such profundity, and such
deep connection to a wandering soul like mine. Jordan mentions at Gatsby’s
party how she "loves large parties because of how intimate they are, and that
small parties don’t allow any privacy". I loved that bit. He knew people had
come to accept their alone as their private comfort zone – no matter good or
bad. Nick Carraway saw in Gatsby the man who had the smile that made people
feel understood like everyone wants to be. I want to be understood. I have said
it all along – why doesn’t anyone else say it with me? Why does Fitzgerald
clearly claim it as a basic human necessity yet no human admits it? It amazes
me – these books with knowledge with so many lessons of humanity to offer. I
cry for people to connect and see similarities; I never wanted to accept those
lines that keep us separate. Why should we not relate to each other and not
connect? I smile when my gym bag tells me “you belong.” Someone recognizes my need as a need of many of its consumers- as a fundamental human need; and knows the simple comforting phrase a friend would know to say.
Gatsby got killed, but the life to be saved was Nick’s. And despite this crazy idealistic hopeful man’s
death, he gave life to someone else. His strong heart, and Fitzgerald’s
recognition of it. This post is dedicated to strong hearts, hope, and simple
friendship like Nick and Gatsby’s - the kind of heart the crocodile’s wife
would want to steal – the sweetest in all land – the monkey heart. And the awe
and wonder of the book, literature, movie, the 3D effects, the life – and the
ability to know exactly what phone call you want to make as soon as the movie
ends. As I saw Gatsby's world and era glitter on the big screen and reconnected with him, Gatsby got greater - Cheers!
