A Good Mathematician

I just had a realization about good mathematicians. Often times in Mathematics, a successful proof may be cracked only if one considers all possible cases, and the exclusion of any case would skew the entire argument/proof. I have often noticed that the cases I do consider, I am able to analyze them with a certain depth, and think it through with advanced analysis. Nonetheless, often times, my proof goes amiss because I failed to think of a possible case, or a possible interpretation of the problem from the very start.

Now, I realize that this may be a very horrid characteristic in a mathematician. However, I now understand the factors (or the interaction of factors) that influence such behavior on my part. I hope that the identification of these factors can help my further analytical math. Read on for more clarity and stay with me here.

Luckily, I do think that this flaw in my mathematical thinking actually lends to an improvement in my general thinking, when it comes to life & such fun things. And this is how:

I always leave room for something that I do not know; perhaps a statistician would say, I always leave some room for error. I would like to connect this idea with another now. I do not know what I do not know- a teacher somewhere had taught me that, and it stuck to me. Let’s further connect this. My religious tendencies also speak so. I do not know what I do not know, so there is always a possibility that there is God or there isn’t. Moreover, there could even be OTHER cases that I have not considered still, and I leave room for that.

I am sure many of you will be able to relate to the next bit I am writing. Often times when we would not know what will happen later on, we would try to think of the possibilities; say A, B, and C, and the subsets of this set. And many many times, the resulting event would be of an entirely different nature (perhaps because you forgot to consider a D in the original set; so despite considering all subsets, you missed something).

I am sure many of you have also thought that A could potentially happen, “… but if I expect that A will happen, B would happen, and if I expect B would happen, then A would happen…I want A to happen so I will think that A will not happen (because this will make A happen), but then aren’t I really still thinking that A would happen..” and that cycle will keep going until you stop thinking. So, what was the solution to this? It’s a catch-22 type of thought, and probably, it is just something you cannot figure out because you do not have enough evidence. Primarily, this thought just portrays that no matter we expect, the result will be opposite or not as expected. But this sort of mechanism indicates that something I expect will not happen because there will be other factors (unknown to me) that will affect the ultimate result.

What I am trying to say here is that we almost always account for things we do not know. My personal opinion is that many mathematicians think highly of themselves and their academic skills. I like to think of myself as a humble mathematician. While I am proving, I am not sure that this is ABSOLUTELY correct.

Moreover, many good mathematicians say, “I got it, I got it” ten times before they actually have the solution. Despite the fact that they are wrong so many times in order to get the correct answer ultimately, they do not fail to be highly confident each time they claim they “got it.”

Even if I set up a proof correctly, I tend to think I may have missed something, but I do my best anyway. I like this approach in life. I stay humble. But darn it!! Those arrogant math-know-it-alls beat me at math.

Now that I understand the conflict between the different perspectives, will I be able to objectify myself from how I intrinsically have trained myself to think (as if towards a virtue), and do better mathematical analysis by changing the thinking cap a bit?

Impossible is Nothing - Adidas

My second blog post from India. The satisfaction within is just unbelievingly whole. I grew up in New Delhi but what I am currently experiencing is New India. My feet are propped op on the this leather couch of this dim-lit coffee shop called Matteo. I’ve got decent wireless internet, and an amazing cup of mocha shekarato. I needed to be here alone. I needed to get here alone. I’ve done it. I’ve dreamt of this, and I have it.

Who cares that I’ve got tons of work ahead of me. This moment needs to be breathed in, captured. I’m listening to the hippest music right now. I can get used to doing research from here. It is definitely a stark contrast from the moments in Starbucks. I am thousands of miles away from my Starbucks at Library West, and about the same away from my Barnes n Noble, just cozy, just chilling, just me. While in the US, I’d wonder if I had missed out on this new culture back at home in India. Here I am, experiencing the youth culture in India.

Nonetheless, I am still a foreigner. I am an observer, not an insider. And that’s totally okay. Lucky to be here. Grateful. Sometimes I just don’t know who to thank for the opportunities that I get, it’s overwhelming. I guess when I am in graduate school, these blog posts will come in handy, will be good for something.

They’re now playing my favorite song, I wanna make love right now right now. There’s no cute guy around, there’s no one in mind, and there’s no one in my hopes either….the apple of my eye…!

Last time I came to Bangalore, I felt equipped. I didn’t have the right clothes nor the mindset to compete with the crowd here. I felt totally out of place. Today, I’m still alone, but in sync with myself.

I’ve sang these songs back at home, driving my accord, chilling with my buds. So damn beautiful… None of these people know where I come from; they perhaps don’t even understand these songs in the same connotation as me; they don’t know my history, my existence does not matter. This moment does not matter. To anyone else that is.

Let’s zoom out. Big Bang. We’re on the moon. We’ve got global warming issues. We could have a third world war. Everything eradicated. Memories of this moment will also slowly fade. But it happened. I have to take a deeper breathe right now…breathing it all in.

I took a bus from Whitefield, Rs. 30/- for a bus ticket to Domlur Bridge. I spent my time on this AC bus in Bangalore traffic, tuned into the Eric Seigal book (The book I’ve always dreamt of reading since the movie Mujhse Dosti Karoge. I’m working towards my dreams..!) I needed to walk down that obscure Castle Street as a tourist. I had to eat dar dar ki thokarein to finally get to Matteo. And it’s more than worth it. There’s foreigners here. White ones, Chinese ones, and the Indian ones --global world…and this is just the beginning…

I can’t say I’m crazy about the Indian crowd trying to be all hip with their supposedly cool English. Butlife has taught me better than to judge them. I would welcome them with the same smile, the smile in which I have confidence. Yup, this time I am equipped to be in the city-- not letting their energies affect me, instead letting mine emanate.

Thank God for my laptop. I could actually be content people watching without the laptop even, but then I would truly look like a weirdo. The HP is my cover.

Wow, no one has tried to get me to take my feet off of the couch. India’s getting there. Me proud.

Current Status- Lucky Ali's Song on Repeat

Kabhi aisa lagta hai , dil mein ik raaz hai
Jise kehna chahoon , par main keh paaoo na
Aankhon hi aankhon mein keh jaati hai jo ye
Khamoshiyon ki ye kaisi zuba
Maine suna jo na usne kaha ..
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar
Mere khuda mujhe itna bata
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar....

Kabhi aisa lagta hai , anjaani pyaas hai
Par simti hoton mein vo reh paaye na
Kaisa ehsaas hai , koi to paas hai
Ye dooriyan hain phir kaisi yahan
Mehki lage ye saari fiza
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar
Mere khuda mujhe itna bata
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar

...Ye sach hai chahat pe kabhi kisi ka bhi zor nahin...
Dilbar ki yaadon ko bandhe aisi koi dor nahin
Sab kuch vohi par lagta naya
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar
Mere khuda mujhe itna bata
Kya aisa bhi hota hai pyar

Kabhi aisa lagta hai , dil mein ik raaz hai
Jise kehna chahoon par main keh paaoo na
Aanhon hi aankhon mein keh jaati hai jo ye
Khamoshiyon ki ye kaisi zuba
Maine suna jo na usne kaha ..
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar
Mere khuda mujhe itna bata
Kya aisa bhi hota hai pyar....

...Ik pal jo mil jaaye phir vo chala jaaye door kahin...
..Duniya mein is dil ke jaisa koi majboor nahin...
Maine suna pyar karta jahan
Kya aisa hi hota hai pyar
Mere khuda mujhe itna bata
Kya aisa bhi hota hai pyar....

Kaleidoscope (Nov. 11th, 2010)

And the journey has begun…

I am currently seated at the London Heathrow airport, in a warm little corner, feeling a little calmer after that mozzarella tomato croissant I just paid I don’t know how many pounds for. I needed it.

And now I can actually pen down the thoughts that have been circling in my head for some time now.

I no longer have my cutesy lime green DELL laptop. I have the new chic metallic grey HP. I must say that getting used to the keyboard has not been so bad. As a matter of fact, with my style of typing, I find the HP keyboard to be a better fit. It retaliates the pangs of my fingers with some dignity, and muffles the sound of my rigorous punching. I like it. I can be passionate without disturbing others.

That said, there is still a little hunger left in me somewhere. Had my hunger been completely satisfied, I would have slouched in to a comfortable sleep.

Heathrow. I believe this is my sixth time at this airport, but somehow it manages to look different each time. I always expect brown faces as I enter Heathrow, but I am still amazed by how every other person is “desi.”

So, I am people watching. Looking at people from France, Norway, UK, India, etc etc.. I am listening to the multitude of languages that surround me, deciding which ones I want to speak some day.

In the midst of all this, I am obviously checking out guys. I learned something about myself today. I really really have a thing for FOREIGN guys. Now, you may wonder what foreign means. Foreign means unlike me. I realized that I like certain white guys, I like certain DARK guys, and just WEiRd looking faces.

God help me, for this is dangerous. I now know that while others have called Indian girls exotic, and I believe that that has been, in part, my sex appeal, I too have fallen prey to this exotic mystique trap.

Does the human mind really enjoy mysteries? And to explore that issue further, what happens when that face becomes familiar?

As I head to Bangalore and then to Mysore, I must beware of those mysterious, sexy, down-to-earth, intelligent South Indian guys.

Oh Gosh! AND I LOVE ACCENTS! And I really do love the Indian Accent.

Why oh WHY! WHY are we so attracted to such differences!

Anyway, it is about time for me to check on my flight status.

Peace!


AFTERTHOUGHT

People are beautiful. Their languages are beautiful. Russian, Spanish, French, all of them..! I feel sorry for those people that have very clearly defined guidelines for beauty. Imagine all the different gene combinations at work, working like a kaleidoscope, producing a unique face each time.

Let yourself be surprised. Don’t set your mind for what is beauty. I take this moment to remind myself to carry this over in my understanding of people as well. Don’t expect people to fit the framework you feel is best. Allow yourself to be taken by surprise. Just not too far perhaps ;-)

A quick note on compatibility.

We look at horoscopes, sun signs, moon signs; We discuss, we argue, we fight. We analyze, explain, defend;

Patience, understanding, communication, love, respect, care…

We need this basket full of goodies for survival!

Is it all too much to expect for? Do we really have so much time in our lives to maintain certain relationships?

Family aside, when a relationship is no longer working, it boils down to compatibility. A compatibility issue can be defined as, “a potential stage in a relationship when one or more persons do not want to spend the time and effort required to develop and maintain the 'basket of goodies.'"

The more I tried to define compatibility another way, it boiled down to this definition ultimately. Absolute compatibility can ideally be achieved with everyone, but as rational individuals, we act to maximize benefits given budget (time/effort) constraints.

For those who excuse themselves from a relationship because of a compatibility issue, I have a scary thought for you to consider.

Most men are still attracted to women, and vice versa. But what of the compatibility between men and women?

Confusion of gender roles, heightened miscommunications and misunderstandings over the years, busy schedules, globalization, and the changing world and changing generation- all of these require a larger basket of goodies!

To top it all off, increased rationality!

In this rational world, will men and women find each other to be compatible???

And does that further imply that perhaps single-hood or lesbian/gay-hood (not to be confused with homosexual in the genetic sexual orientation sense) are consequences of individuals’ rational choices?

Love Me if You Dare

;-)

On the Ninth

Facebook has developed a new application called “Photo Memories,” which picks random photo albums you are tagged in, and places those albums on the side of your homepage or on a little picture frame on your “facebook desk” as I like to think of it. Once again, some technology, some programming, and human brain have created a gesture that caters to the human emotion of nostalgia.

I find myself often clicking that link, looking at perhaps forgotten moments, and the memories come rushing back. That gush of emotion that occurs from running into those pictures unexpectedly on my facebook desk very closely follows the emotions that well up upon finding some old pictures buried in a box under your bed while doing a yearly cleanup. This use of technology to virtually mimic an emotion formerly derived from a physical hands-on finding, though scary on some level, facilitates a smiling nostalgia in my heart from time to time.

I never know how to deal with nostalgia. It’s like being on the edge of a cliff, with your arms wide open, eyes closed, drifting closer and closer towards the intangible, while trying to hold on to solid ground. It requires some degree of precision and some optimization mechanisms.

I laid down in the backseat of the car last night, thinking back to the days when I was very very little. We’d go on long road trips with the family. I’d find my comfortable spot, lay down in the backseat at an angle where I could only see the blue, no ground, and no horizon. I’d study the clouds, theorizing in my child brain how if I tried enough, if I searched enough to unlock the mysteries of the world, I would see God or gods or heaven in these clouds.

Little did I know then that I’d finally settle with a heaven in my epsilon neighborhood, and moreover accept it with a placid calm rather than a frustrated anguish.

The tease of nostalgia is only palatable when a certain degree of maturity precedes it.

Ping! And I’ve been google IMed back on to the solid carpet of my room in Coral Springs, Florida.

Those were my nine minutes on cloud nine. ;-)

Get Lucky

A brand called, “Lucky” has created a super cute yellow bag that had caught my eye in Macy’s. I bought it despite it being a little more expensive than my usual purse/bag purchases. I am now discovering that this lucky bag is actually more me than it looks on first glance.

I have often been reminded by my mother or my friends to close the zipper to my bag or to button it up while walking. Even in the busiest market streets in India, I could not get myself to stop and zip up my bag, because I would need to open it again in just a few minutes! While most people prefer zipper bags for the security they offer, I find them to be inconvenient. I prefer a tote bag or one with a button, despite its risky nature.

When paying for a coffee at Starbucks, it is a hassle to find an efficient way to place your card back in your wallet, and then securely into your purse. The person behind you does not care for your wallet to be so extremely secure, and merely wants his/her dose of caffeine to get on with his/her life.

So, to expedite the process of securely packing up your valuables at a cash register without ticking off the person behind you, my yellow bag is quite efficient. It does not have a primary button that needs to be “buttoned”. No primary zippers. It’s got this invisible magnet button thing. The only requirement is to open the flap, place contents in it, and gravity will allow the flap to fall down, letting the magnet do its job. Even the two smaller square pockets in the front follow the same algorithm!

It’s got my carefree style, with my favorite yellow, and it provides me with the necessary security needed. Someone else must have had similar issues, enough to create demand for a bag such as this, and then some other person must have found my issues significant enough to make this lucky bag!

Ah! Isn’t it nice when such minute little details that used to subtly bother you have been addressed, and you have actually encountered the solution in this lifetime, in Macy’s, of all places!

It’s the same joy I get from Pandora, when it goes through an hour worth of music that is simply me me me! It’s when Carry Bradshaw knows what you go through in your personal life, and offers you her perspective on it!

Sometimes, you just get lucky. Your demands are so adequately met by an equilibrium so satisfying. In a huge world with myriad little details, the probabilities of your seemingly inconsequential issues being addressed are so tiny! All the more reason why such an event can contribute significantly to the happiness level of your day. The realization of having found this subtle equilibrium is, of course, key to this joy.

It’s just good to know you’re not alone in your madness and crazy little obsessions! I hope this blog post provides the same comfort to the reader that my lucky bag provides me with : )

Globalization & Lovers

The invention of telegraph, telephone, airplanes, internet etc definitely helped bring people together. It revolutionized culture step by step, making the world flat with all that globalization stuff. While accounting firms all over the world are outsourcing jobs to the eastern world, and while international trade is growing rapidly, one more such phenomenon is on the rise: long distance relationships.

The phenomenon has become so popular that there is tons of literature about it, and soon there will be a movie starring Drew Barrymore called, "Going the Distance." The term "long distance relationships" often serves as a great conversation starter. Each person has got pretty much the same thing to say about them: long distance relationships suck.

Unless of course, the people commenting on them are new to relationships altogether. But the rest of us know all the drama that is involved, and most of us who are sane stay away.

Cynicism aside, why is it that the situation even arises? There was a time when people could only see or talk to those in their local neighborhood. And hence the only people they could have picked as their life-partners had to be those in the physical or familial locality.

From pigeon mail to email, we have come a long long way. It was one thing to have pen-pals. Sitting down to write letters was not everyone's cup of tea. Yet lovers did it. But did they base entirely new relationships that way? Sending a flirt through mail, and then waiting a month to get a flirt back? Perhaps. But I doubt it was so common.

With the advent of emails, distances between lovers got shorter, the flirting process was perhaps expedited, and e-connections were made. No doubt, connecting was easier. Say bye bye to dial up, and hello to fast internet access! AOL Instant Messenger had the "direct connect," which allowed the sharing of files and images; Yahoo Instant Messenger allowed for that plus applications such as doodle, tic tac toe, etc to create a more interactive chat environment. Webcams and microphones became popular, and now they are more or less included in all the new laptop models. People wanted more reality in their conversations. They wanted to connect more and faster, and the internet has provided and facilitated so much of that.

Nevertheless, all internet has done is created attachments. I speak not of file attachments but emotional ones. A guy and a girl can spend hours talking to each other online, staring into each others' eyes, but once that is all well and done, and if they care to step away from their computer or telephone, they have to find someone else to watch a movie with, or wait until their lover arrives god knows when.

Does this make any sense? Not to me! But people do it. And happily so.

This phenomenon is also more common in the US I believe, where people migrate from one job to another more freely, and hence moving from city to city and state to state more easily. In India, it is difficult enough to get from Patel Nagar to Paschim Vihar, so that in itself becomes long distance. I now understand why my close friend has been with a guy for 4 years and only meets with him once a month. I find that to be absolutely crazy and totally long distance.

Essentially, "long distance" is measured by how readily one can physically meet the other. Long can thus get longer or shorter depending on a person's ability to pay for travel and on his/her time and will to do so.

So, is it really all that great to be connected to the entire world on a personal level? Yes, globalization is great, and cultural exchanges on an individual level are wonderful too. But do we really need to be so over-plugged in and over-connected? It's pretty much asking for trouble. I am, of course, a bit biased with my own opinion on this matter.

It is just funny to note that there once used to be a transition from single to married, and the notion that people are different once you live with them in a marriage etc, but now there is also the notion of transitioning from a virtual to non-virtual relationship. It cracks me up to hear about people actually having engagement ceremonies over the internet, with bride and groom all decked out sitting in front of their monitors. And I think to myself, what has the world come to?!

What is globalization doing to relationships?!! On an individual level, is globalization such a good idea? It is one thing to be able to MAINTAIN touch with someone who has gone far away, but to DEVELOP connections with someone far away seems like an absurdity to me.

Just some food for thought: is the flattening of the world and the simplicity of telecommunication and traveling actually complicating personal relationships between lovers?

What does a girlfriend do when she just needs to be hugged? Is a virtual *hug* really enough?

Summer Cuteness

I wish I had a super cute and comfortable laptop right now. I also wish I had a cute, ultra-funny and bollywood-type-loves-me boyfriend right now. But as it stands, I have got a kind of cute lime green laptop, which is anything but comfortable. Let’s just say, it’s got a broken spine. And I have a bollywood-type me, who is cute and semi-funny also. Somehow I have got this new type of parasite that is making me really enjoy what I do have.

Singlehood requires heart and soul type of music, and I think it makes you cherish driving even more. I will not say that my car is my boyfriend. My car is a girl, for sure. Music is my boyfriend. My lost ipod has that engraved on the back of it. Moreover, there is a an exact duplicate copy of my lost ipod with the very same engraving as the original ipod, which I found to be the sweetest and most thoughtful thing ever gifted to me. I was shocked that someone could have a cuter gift idea than I could have ever come up with. I think it is really the “loads of love” type of emotion that can drive someone to be that cute and creative. Anyway, whoever has my original ipod better be appreciating my insane bond with music, my all time favorite boyfriend.

I smoked some hookah just now, and while I do not think that it has had much of an effect on me, the cold coffee I had after that may be the culprit keeping me up. I am thinking faster than I can talk or type, and I actually talk and type pretty fast.

I decided to repeat this driving for my soul thing again. There’s something about University Avenue and 13th street and their traffic lights. These roads are actually not creepy even though the town is empty. I am growing to love this town after I have actually graduated from here, and to realize how much I will miss Gainesville. It takes me about a song and a quarter to return home from dropping off my friends. If I’ve got a heart and soul song playing, the summer breeze pouring through my window, I cannot stop the song mid-way. I just cannot.

So, I have to play some game, and drive more. Since I am alone, I talk to myself: I’ll keep driving till I hit a non-green light. I love this song, even though it’s about how the day has dawned and it is 3 am at night right now. My game is probably not a smart one, because I will end up driving really far, and the song will end, which will make me pick another such song that I won’t be able to switch off if I reach home before this third one ends. I see yellow flashing lights. Though I do not have to technically stop at these, I might as well head back home, and this way I have tweaked the rules (as I always do), and have played my game well.

I also drove on the highway the other day, with the moon nice and gorgeous and right smack in my face. With the Florida turnpike unfurling itself, rendering itself to me, I made love to the highway, listening to, “I wanna make love right now right now.”

*Sigh* : )

Good times.

I never used to like summer. I always thought I loved winter. India’s heat could not stop me from falling in love with summer. Notre Dame’s winter would have killed me with its gloom, and I am glad I chose to have no future plans over having plans that would not have dawned on my nights. If that makes any sense to anyone. Basically, the wrapper of this dove chocolate said, “In life’s winter, find your invincible summer.”

I think I am doing just that. Summer is meant for relaxing. So just chill ;-)

July 20th

Happy Birthday, Papa!

This time it's not a greeting card posted by your bed. We're going electronic!

I tried to make your favorite vanilla cake today. It is currently in the oven, and has been there for over an hour, and I have no idea when/if at all it will come out good. I know you wouldn’t have cared any way. I wish I could bug you by wishing you ten million times, but I am posting this onto the world wide web, and I hope my message gets to you somehow. I love you and miss you loads. Your sweet little bacha is thinking of you, always!

P.S. I loved it when people told me in India that I look just like you.
P.P.S. I love it when mom and bhai say I talk like you
P.P.P.S. I may have huge hands for a girl, but they match the size of your hands, so I look at them and smile.
P.P.P.P.S. Time to check on this never-will-bake-cake!

Brain Clutter

Unclutter that shit.

So, this blog post may be a little random, and a little tangential for someone to follow. Sorry readers, my mind will go crazy if I don't pen down these little snippets of potential blog posts.

Somebody mentioned to me that I am no longer active on facebook as I used to be. I thought it over, and decided that the reason was that I just recently came from India, and all those dormant contacts that were classmates from school and such, now actually try to talk to me online. Also, I've now got more cousins on my list that have summer vacations right now, and they're about my age, and while I was in India, I made promises of keeping in touch with them. So there's that. But there's also something called mechanics of conversation.

By that, I mean, who will be the asker and who will be the answerer? Who will be the storyteller and what stories will be told? There is always just too much that goes into a conversation, that not everyone is aware of. I like to think that since I blabber all the time, I have mastered a few of these skills. See, I'd like to pour forth some knowledge about the technicalities of making conversation in a blog post at some point. We now move on to another previously aborted yet readopted train of thought.

How do you know if someone is hitting on you? And how do you know if someone is flirting? So, while I was on my travels this summer, I was quite the social butterfly. One instance comes to mind, and I feel like detailing this one because I could not publicly talk about this one. So there is a kurta shop we're all in in Jaipiur's Johri Bazaar. This is our first shop of the day, and we actually saw kurtas we all liked.

The salesman is a short fair-skinned guy with mysterious looking eyes. Part of the mystery probably arose from the fact that he had a cloth on the rest of his face. We did not know whether it was due to a disease that people cover their faces in India, or dust, or sweat, or what. But we were in air conditioning! In any case, salesman did his job, suckered us into buying a buncha stuff, that now needed to be altered.

Since I was the "ring leader" of this foreign group of people shopping in India, and since my American friends were pretending to not understand a word of English even, I was naturally making sure that everyone's alteration needs would be well met by the shopkeepers. So, I gave this covered face guy plenty of instructions for everyone's measurements, and now came my turn. I reiterated what I had learnt to say at each tailor's shop: Big arms and shoulders, so please take a note of that, and fitted around the waist, you don't have to worry about how I will get in it.

He now finally started speaking a bit more, and he instead gives me a look to just be quiet and stand straight, while saying that he knows best, and will do best. But, see I know better than his best, so I insisted that he listen to me because otherwise he will have to redo everything, which will be a waste of everyone's time.

So, long story a little less long, we come back to the store to get our stuff, and now the face is uncovered. And now I notice that aside from the fact that this guy is super short, he is actually Emran Hashmi cute! So, the thing that now happens is that I try on the clothes, and they were of course, tight in the arms and loose from the waist. And now this guy is silent. He's just watching how I keep trying kurta after kurta, and how I keep getting sad after each kurta trial. And to top it all off, I can't bitch to my friends properly because I have to pretend like they don't know english, plus to keep my "local" cover, I'd have to bitch in Indian english and speak much slower, which will not be satisfying anyway.

Anyway, so this guy that was talking patar patar to me before, from behind his cover, now shuts up and nicely sends stuff for alteration again. We now need more kurtas so we keep looking, and he shows us more stuff. All the while, he keeps flirting with me, I'm pretty sure. It's hard to translate everything to my dear friends, and ask. So, while he tells me how he likes what I am wearing, and gets cheeky with me, I try to maintain my focus on shopping.

There's something I don't understand about flirting. Unfortunately, I think it is called flirting when someone makes a remark, and you've got a cute, clever, fun comment back to report with. I treat that as a skill. I've worked on it over the years, it comes in handy. But never has it been my goal to "flirt". I have always just wanted to be witty.

So, I tell him "Chalo (let's go), hurry up and show me something else" He says, "where?". Typical Indian guy flirting. Then I tell him that the price he is asking for is way too high, and I quote an absurd price, knowing he will flip, but this is too much fun, and could potentially be profitable. He says, "why don't you take me along too?" "Alright, my friends will take you back with them," I say.
"What am I going to do with them? I won't understand anything they are saying to me." Haha, remember my friends are from morocco and only speak espanol?

Anyway, he was cute. He was cheeky, flirty, and something mysterious. But he was also 5'4", miniature sized, in India, and not my type.

After having scrolled up to recollect what my original train of thought was, I realized that whatever it was, now this blog post has taken a turn towards the better. It is now about flirting.

The thing about it is no one knows what it is, and it is always your friends who let you know you were flirting. If you are making an effort to flirt, it probably is not coming out well anyway. So don't bother.

Like I said, it's a skill. Though I would not like to be called a "flirt," if the definition of flirting is as I mentioned before, I take quite some pride in it. Not everyone can do it so smoothly. It requires a lot of practice.

So here's the strategy. You talk to many people online, and attempt flirting, you'll realize why it is not working. You then collect all this data by having numerous such conversations, all the while analyzing the process in your head. Bare in mind that that is all internet conversations are good for: practice. The performance has to be done in person. Sure, you'll fail a couple times, but until you take the risk, you'll just be that shy person in the corner.

I hear that in today's day and age, guys need to delve into literature that teaches them how to score points with a girl. Well, I am here, adding to it. Watch movies, the ones that the girl you like likes. And please do not follow the movie. Obviously, she has watched it, so if you replicate anything from the movie, she will know your act, and you will then be headed back to your misery and doom.

Instead, understand the movie, and its characters. Then, move on to her next favorite movie, think about it, and hold that thought. Movie after movie, you'll hopefully just "get it". Then, look for the intersection and the union of the information you have collected.

Also, keep in mind the analysis about your own flirting skills attained during internet practice with random people.

Then, just try one of the flirting techniques out one of these days. Since you are bound to be rusty because you are trying, play the goof card. Don't try to be smooth, keep it real and bumpy. Eventually after some rusty and goofy remarks, you'll get the hang of it!

And then, just come back and thank me, for this crash course in flirting 101.

I know this blog post is far from cohesive. It takes a lot of brain power actually to connect a lot of random snippets into anything coherent. The way I think of it, try not to be smooth, give something a try, and hope that the next one will come out smoother.

Treat this blog post as a precursor to my discussion on the mechanics of conversation. Flirting is just the ice-breaker. Conversation is water.

Sip that little thought over, and if something philosophical emerges, then you get my drift ;-)

The Tourist

I bought this shirt while I was in India that said, “will dream forever”. I basically thought it to be a cute yellow, and the sleeves fit me just right. I liked what it said, but I wondered if I would stay committed to the declaration I was making…

My dream to go to India with my closest friends from the US came true. What I had literally dreamed about when I was younger actually came true this summer. My two worlds did meet, and I had an amazing time. I stayed in the most royal of hotels in India, I watched an Indian movie with a random Chinese kid in China. I was requested to be in pictures with random Chinese people on top of the Great Wall of China. I was in a rikshaw in crowded streets of Chandni Chowk with 3 Americans who entrusted their lives into my hands in this foreign land assuming that I know all. I saw the dabbawalas and dhobi ghaats of Bombay, and chilled at marine drive with the love of my life best friend gringerberger! I have lived my life like there is no tomorrow. I have taken risks and chances that I probably should never have taken, but that I would undoubtedly be incomplete without.

When I think of this summer 2010 trip, I always take a deep breath because I just feel more satisfied with life. While I have no idea what my future will be like, I really lived the present. Murgi kya jaane ande ka kya hoga…but I know..ki at least..changey marenge =)

I had once also dreamt of London. I wanted to go there, live there, study there. That part didn’t come true, but I visited London with one of my oldest friends from India. And it was surreal. I can proudly say that despite the ups and downs in life, I have been severely blessed to have seen different corners of the world.

Not only have I seen Glasgow and London with a close friend, but I also managed to travel in China with another friend. Each time, the trip has been long anticipated and imagined, and then that finally, realized.

I was watching the videos of the Ramayana play I worked on in college. These are dreams that I never dreamt when I was younger, but they developed with time. More so, they developed because I was pushed in charge. I still cannot believe that it happened. I still cannot believe all of the above has happened. I cannot believe that I have so much to be thankful for, so much to keep storytelling about.

I was on my way to Shanghai from Delhi, when I met some people from Mumbai, who also happened to be coming back from Shanghai on the same flight with me. When leaving the flight at Delhi, I pretty much said final and forever goodbyes to my fellow travelers because I never thought I’d see them again in just less than a month in their hometown in Mumbai. I merely expected to see them a couple times during my stay in Bombay, but they really took me and Grinner out to see amchi Mumbai. We taught them, “Changey Marengey.” And I learned ki kabhi alvida na kehna…

I never thought I would take my bestest friend from the US to the chemist ki dukaan by my house where I grew up. I bought her chawanprash there by the same guy who used to be this cute hunk when I was ten years old. He is still cute today, but not in the hunky way, but in a cute married with some gray hair kinda way.

In this last month, I have sipped coffee in these cute new fancy shops in India called Café Coffee Day, CCD in short, and Costa Coffee with different groups of friends: American friends that had come to visit India, friends I made when I visited in India last, classmates from when I used to live in India, and those friends that I made on this very trip on the way to China.

To top it all off, I sang the song, “I love my India,” while freaking out on the backseat of my cousin’s motorcycle as he showed me all of Delhi on this fatal and life-threatening yet life-fulfilling ride with the Delhi loo (hot wind) hitting my glasses, all the dust of my hometown collecting on my skin, and the sweat running the colors of my shirt. WOW, London dekha, shanghai dekha, aur dekha Florida, poore jag mein koi nahi hai doosra Hindustan…doosra Hindustaaaan..

I am now back here in Gainesville, and I just watched videos of my crazy friends from about a year ago, and again the pattern remains the same: I can’t believe it happened, but it so pleasantly did. I have had many of my dreams come true, some of which were never even dreamt out loud.

I have journeyed on in life, collecting moments, collecting experiences. Many losses on the way, but I’ve got my smile on, and I know that I will dream forever ;-)

Changey Marenge!

Who Likes TV?

Everyone can bash the television as much as they want to, call it an idiot box, or enemy of conversation. There is one thing about the television though that shuns all the criticisms against it; it prevents you from missing human companionship too much.

In simple words, the TV keeps you from realizing that you really are alone. Yes, one must be aware of that fact and cope with it blah blah. But, once in a while, it is nice to just sit on a couch with an ice-cream bucket in your hands, feet propped up on the table, watching some mindless TV.

You’re in for an extra treat if what you’re watching is actually engaging. You’ll laugh, and that too in a phase of your life when you didn’t think it was possible. It will then do what no other human at the moment can do: support, console, and entertain you.

I say, forget all complications among real humans! And enter the life of construct! …for it is like being in wonderland… when you come back, your life will still be waiting, but you’ll have a lighter head to deal with it all.

Cheers to television! Because sometimes, admit it or not, you need a break from real people…

Melodies in a Coffee Cup

I would like to keepsake this moment in history. Who knows where I will be ten years from now. My current facebook status will tell you that I am at Starbucks, jamming to Indian music. From classical instrumental to modern upbeat balle balle is playing here.

I have often found myself wondering, how would things have been had I never moved to the US… Would I really be a true Delhi-ite, writing my English with unnecessary “tashan,” speaking the hybrid hinglish, chilling in the “galis,” hitting the bazaars, complaining about India and its politics…or would I still be the nerd hanging out at the college library, having a group study that has too much fun and is glared at by all others, loving my culture no matter what…or something completely unimaginable..

I have always wanted to be able to go regularly to the gym in India, so that I could be surprised by the music I actually know how to sing along with, and get that extra boost of energy to burn some more calories. There’s a special type of pleasure in hearing your old favorite song unexpectedly that choosing songs in your ipod cannot ever replace. A shot of chicken soup for the soul.

In midst of my two worlds, I have often imagined where I belong, or if I belong to just one world at all anymore. I am who I am, and I am where I am. It’s much easier said than accepted.

But, right now, I’m here. I am in Starbucks. I am the girl on the laptop, sitting in the dim light at the corner table, smiling to myself. The violet wall and the modern wall paintings that are meant to entice customers for a perfect coffee setting are in the backfrop. I know I am in Gainesville. I look around, and people have no idea that I am not working on some major assignment, but am instead writing a petty blog post about this seemingly unimportant moment.

In this moment, I am here, with Indian music to hear. I feel nostalgia, but I am glad that I am here, witnessing this moment and understanding it. The Hindi oldies my dad would try to get me to listen to, that I probably never would have appreciated in India, I am listening to them in the library of my college in the U.S., and I couldn’t be happier… My dad would have been super excited to hear about this…he would have gotten it…gotten me…because I got this from him…this feeling, this excitement about the world, this little tiny amazing moment, he would have taken pleasure from it too.

It’s nice, flattering, and simply extraordinary. Sipping India in a coffee cup in an obscure college town in Gainesville, Florida.

I am my own fan

I am my own fan. I find myself often looking at my blog, and reading a different post from time to time. Does anyone else do that? I begin to read because I forget what I wrote, and as I go along, it is simply a wonderful journey listening to myself… it produces an emotional effect that I intended to create at some point in the past but unintentionally feel in the present. And then I realize why I never make this blog too public. I don’t need anyone’s approval. No arguments, no debates. I talk and someone listens. Or doesn’t listen…either way, no one talks back. Not really, anyway.

So, do I really love listening to myself talk? I’ll be honest here. Sometimes, yes. Sometimes, I really simply do. Talking with someone else brings about doubts like, do they really really get it? Do they understand it the way I feel it? Did they catch every subtlety? I wonder if my work is appreciated the way it deserves to be? I’m funny, does anyone get it though?!
Congratulations, the answer to all the above doubts is YES! There exists such an entity- one that you approve of too! Me, myself, and Kritter. I don’t think Ayn Rand was conveying the same message I am when she wrote the Fountainhead, but I believe in some deeper philosophical level, the ideas are connected. Great minds think alike after all.

Why is it so wrong to appreciate yourself and your own existence anyway? There are a gazillion moments in our lives when we cannot stop berating ourselves for the way we are, things we do or have done in the past. But do we really take time out to point out what we adore about us? Society wants us to keep those on the down low.
So here is what I propose for all you bloggers out there: I ask that you read one of your own posts in dire need. You know yourself the best, you know what will get to you, you know it’s honest, and moreover, you’ll know that you deserve all the appreciation that you feel for yourself. : )

For in the end, you can ponder and doubt all you want..doubt away everything like Descartes did, but what he could not doubt away was the fact that there is a doubter, himself. I think/doubt ergo I am.

You always have you.

How can you make the study of math fun?

Let’s Find A Median To The Problem

We live in a mode where people are quite mean to Mathematics. Only a fraction of people actually place value on this subject. Why doesn’t the average person like math? To answer this quotient, we must find the root of this repulsion. The major factor: students do not see mathematical application. Fundamentally, math is the most fun way of learning the prime tool in life: logic.

History buffs must not underestimate Math because it too has time, lines, and laws. Science advocates should appreciate its bisections and operations, while Art pioneers admire its curves, patterns, and symmetry. Familiarity with mathematical grammar is dictated by seeing its correlation with other areas of their life.

Teaching geometry and trigonometry as applications to pool and billiards would not only create students who excel in concepts like angles but also fashion them as experts of the game. This could make math seem like an elective to several kids, and appeal to them. Poker can teach students probability. Algebraic graphs are easily explained by using objects that have conic shapes such as a parabolic satellite dish or play dough to form the figures. Because kinesthetic learners must directly apply what they learn, math classes should include “lab days,” when teachers introduce students to a new segment through a hands-on environment.

Teachers will have to multiply their work to assist students at seeing these parallel connections, thus becoming exponents ensuring students are using the mathematical concepts with a competitive spirit. Audio and visual learners will benefit as they listen and watch the concepts of math take volume. This practical formula will involve less funds, while the product will prove to be of a much higher magnitude.

Field trips, such as a Geometric Park Adventure, enabling students to hunt for ferocious lines are key. Advanced mathematics students must integrate mathematics with engineering to calculate and analyze how roller coasters work, or how the Metro train tracks are secured. Demonstrating the degree to which math is applicable allows them to complete the circle.

Paving the path for students to climb the slope, step by step, will establish more informed judgments about Math. My fellow mates abhor mathematics because they reach a limit: discouraging grades, preventing them from reaching their apex. If they have a firm grasp of the fundamental mathematical principles, then a sound judgment, whether negative or positive, will be made.

My main goal is for people to see math from a different angle--from the perspective of people who already love it. Perhaps, if we could guide them in the beginning, a higher percentage of students will build interest towards it. Whether they want to continue to reach its more abstract forms under Calculus or not, they can do the math.

P.S. I wrote this as a scholarship essay about 5 years ago =D