Globalization & Lovers

The invention of telegraph, telephone, airplanes, internet etc definitely helped bring people together. It revolutionized culture step by step, making the world flat with all that globalization stuff. While accounting firms all over the world are outsourcing jobs to the eastern world, and while international trade is growing rapidly, one more such phenomenon is on the rise: long distance relationships.

The phenomenon has become so popular that there is tons of literature about it, and soon there will be a movie starring Drew Barrymore called, "Going the Distance." The term "long distance relationships" often serves as a great conversation starter. Each person has got pretty much the same thing to say about them: long distance relationships suck.

Unless of course, the people commenting on them are new to relationships altogether. But the rest of us know all the drama that is involved, and most of us who are sane stay away.

Cynicism aside, why is it that the situation even arises? There was a time when people could only see or talk to those in their local neighborhood. And hence the only people they could have picked as their life-partners had to be those in the physical or familial locality.

From pigeon mail to email, we have come a long long way. It was one thing to have pen-pals. Sitting down to write letters was not everyone's cup of tea. Yet lovers did it. But did they base entirely new relationships that way? Sending a flirt through mail, and then waiting a month to get a flirt back? Perhaps. But I doubt it was so common.

With the advent of emails, distances between lovers got shorter, the flirting process was perhaps expedited, and e-connections were made. No doubt, connecting was easier. Say bye bye to dial up, and hello to fast internet access! AOL Instant Messenger had the "direct connect," which allowed the sharing of files and images; Yahoo Instant Messenger allowed for that plus applications such as doodle, tic tac toe, etc to create a more interactive chat environment. Webcams and microphones became popular, and now they are more or less included in all the new laptop models. People wanted more reality in their conversations. They wanted to connect more and faster, and the internet has provided and facilitated so much of that.

Nevertheless, all internet has done is created attachments. I speak not of file attachments but emotional ones. A guy and a girl can spend hours talking to each other online, staring into each others' eyes, but once that is all well and done, and if they care to step away from their computer or telephone, they have to find someone else to watch a movie with, or wait until their lover arrives god knows when.

Does this make any sense? Not to me! But people do it. And happily so.

This phenomenon is also more common in the US I believe, where people migrate from one job to another more freely, and hence moving from city to city and state to state more easily. In India, it is difficult enough to get from Patel Nagar to Paschim Vihar, so that in itself becomes long distance. I now understand why my close friend has been with a guy for 4 years and only meets with him once a month. I find that to be absolutely crazy and totally long distance.

Essentially, "long distance" is measured by how readily one can physically meet the other. Long can thus get longer or shorter depending on a person's ability to pay for travel and on his/her time and will to do so.

So, is it really all that great to be connected to the entire world on a personal level? Yes, globalization is great, and cultural exchanges on an individual level are wonderful too. But do we really need to be so over-plugged in and over-connected? It's pretty much asking for trouble. I am, of course, a bit biased with my own opinion on this matter.

It is just funny to note that there once used to be a transition from single to married, and the notion that people are different once you live with them in a marriage etc, but now there is also the notion of transitioning from a virtual to non-virtual relationship. It cracks me up to hear about people actually having engagement ceremonies over the internet, with bride and groom all decked out sitting in front of their monitors. And I think to myself, what has the world come to?!

What is globalization doing to relationships?!! On an individual level, is globalization such a good idea? It is one thing to be able to MAINTAIN touch with someone who has gone far away, but to DEVELOP connections with someone far away seems like an absurdity to me.

Just some food for thought: is the flattening of the world and the simplicity of telecommunication and traveling actually complicating personal relationships between lovers?

What does a girlfriend do when she just needs to be hugged? Is a virtual *hug* really enough?