Wednesday, September 30, 2015
Thursday, September 24, 2015
America said "be unique, be yourself", so I did it
The American School System constantly emphasized this idea that I should continue being unique, that I should continue celebrating my individuality. At some point, I realized that I might have listened to this more seriously and more deeply than my fellow classmates were listening. But perhaps it was already too late; I was already loving this whole being unique thing. I still love it. It definitely feeds my sense of self-worth and pride. Haha, but on my low days and more often as I have gotten older, I definitely wonder if the teachers I listened to even practiced what they preached, if they truly knew what it might cost their students if this is what they followed.
I guess what I am saying is, I wonder if I would have chosen this path knowing what the costs would be. What are these costs I am talking about, you ask? Well, of course, non-conformity means you have to put more communication effort to explain yourself if you choose to be in connection with other people. Plus, the distances in ideologies might be higher from one individual to another (something I legitimately explore in a research paper of mine), and these were self-created (though indirect in some sense) distances! So, now you've created larger distances between you and others and you have to now spend more time communicating yourself if you do indeed find someone who is willing to stay in connection to listen and communicate with you at such length!!
Benefits of being unique? Well, there is immense self-pleasure. You do feel like a monopoly product and bow less to competitive pressures. This makes life more fun for you and those around you. You might even inspire others to do this for themselves and feel this for themselves, and find connection in your love for own individuality (ideal scenario of course, and not impossible at all but rare perhaps)! You also will have interesting conversations with whomever you meet because you are not all the same, so you get to share and explore why why not. You also get to find yourself judging or feel judged -- so you get an opportunity to improve at not doing this! In the process, maybe you find deeper love and appreciation for people, which is not founded on similarities in personality, but is founded on embracing differences and on digging for more fundamental human commonness. Since this is not easy, if you do get to accomplish this, you feel even better about your hard work and growth in life. You feel happy that you did not need to control others to be similar to you as you did not want to be similar to them - and YET you are loved and are in connection. You feel closer to loving unconditionally and being unconditionally loved (lol because conditions are just perhaps harder to get met, and the need for love undying, so you do the best that you can). And perhaps, benefits outweigh costs? I can't say for sure yet. I'm part of the experiment.
I guess what I wonder is: did the people giving advice think about all of this? They pushed us into motion of this sort -- why? Did they consider telling us the costs? Or did they themselves not realize the costs because they were perhaps not even aware of what it was like to become more and more unique? They pushed us into motion and waited for equilibria to occur or not?
I cannot change what happened, of course, and for the most part, I love that it did happen that way. I am also the sorta person that would say this regardless of what happens, I know. But, the next relevant question is: what would I tell my kids? What do I want to tell others? I guess my current approach is to lay out for someone what I know - to let them know costs and benefits as I see them, and let them decide for themselves...
I guess the one thing that I did not see ENOUGH encouragement of in the school system was how to DEAL with and grapple with individuality and diversity among people at a deeper connection level - beyond classroom and workplace interactions of the superficial kind. Maybe, if going forward, we truly found ways and tools to communicate and find comfort in differences and diversity, we would realize the more promising theoretical benefits of being unique.
I guess what I am saying is, I wonder if I would have chosen this path knowing what the costs would be. What are these costs I am talking about, you ask? Well, of course, non-conformity means you have to put more communication effort to explain yourself if you choose to be in connection with other people. Plus, the distances in ideologies might be higher from one individual to another (something I legitimately explore in a research paper of mine), and these were self-created (though indirect in some sense) distances! So, now you've created larger distances between you and others and you have to now spend more time communicating yourself if you do indeed find someone who is willing to stay in connection to listen and communicate with you at such length!!
Benefits of being unique? Well, there is immense self-pleasure. You do feel like a monopoly product and bow less to competitive pressures. This makes life more fun for you and those around you. You might even inspire others to do this for themselves and feel this for themselves, and find connection in your love for own individuality (ideal scenario of course, and not impossible at all but rare perhaps)! You also will have interesting conversations with whomever you meet because you are not all the same, so you get to share and explore why why not. You also get to find yourself judging or feel judged -- so you get an opportunity to improve at not doing this! In the process, maybe you find deeper love and appreciation for people, which is not founded on similarities in personality, but is founded on embracing differences and on digging for more fundamental human commonness. Since this is not easy, if you do get to accomplish this, you feel even better about your hard work and growth in life. You feel happy that you did not need to control others to be similar to you as you did not want to be similar to them - and YET you are loved and are in connection. You feel closer to loving unconditionally and being unconditionally loved (lol because conditions are just perhaps harder to get met, and the need for love undying, so you do the best that you can). And perhaps, benefits outweigh costs? I can't say for sure yet. I'm part of the experiment.
I guess what I wonder is: did the people giving advice think about all of this? They pushed us into motion of this sort -- why? Did they consider telling us the costs? Or did they themselves not realize the costs because they were perhaps not even aware of what it was like to become more and more unique? They pushed us into motion and waited for equilibria to occur or not?
I cannot change what happened, of course, and for the most part, I love that it did happen that way. I am also the sorta person that would say this regardless of what happens, I know. But, the next relevant question is: what would I tell my kids? What do I want to tell others? I guess my current approach is to lay out for someone what I know - to let them know costs and benefits as I see them, and let them decide for themselves...
I guess the one thing that I did not see ENOUGH encouragement of in the school system was how to DEAL with and grapple with individuality and diversity among people at a deeper connection level - beyond classroom and workplace interactions of the superficial kind. Maybe, if going forward, we truly found ways and tools to communicate and find comfort in differences and diversity, we would realize the more promising theoretical benefits of being unique.
Monday, September 14, 2015
Toota toota ek parinda aise toota...
What makes the Sufi? Purity of heart;
Not the patched mantle and the lust perverse
Of those vile earth-bound men who steal his name.
He in all dregs discerns the essence pure:
In hardship ease, in tribulation joy.
The phantom sentries, who with batons drawn
Guard Beauty's place-gate and curtained bower,
Give way before him, unafraid he passes,
And showing the King's arrow, enters in.
-R.A. Nicholson
Ke phir allah ke bande has de, jo bhi ho kal phir aayega; lessons and reminders in resilience
Love and Namaste
“What I had thought of before as God," Rumi said, “I met today in a human being.”
Love and Namaste.
Love and Namaste.
Sunday, September 13, 2015
Believe is the wrong word. Check its evolution.
Believe is the wrong word. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=belief
^^Compare its etymology to its definition. It lost its meaning over time, perhaps as people confused thought with action - assuming action was indeed aligned with thought - assuming it is synchronized instantaneously perhaps. In our new definition of the word, believing is more close to letting yourself be brainwashed than is "putting faith in" or "trusting in". These words better represent religious/spiritual/emotional meaning these days. The use of the word believe can be misleading; it may imply that the "believer" or the person putting faith in or trust in something is not aware or not fully acknowledging some possibility of doubt. But, I'd argue that most people that decide to put faith in things and feel strongly about it through experience of faith, trust, and commitment would indeed agree that there is doubt. In fact, there is risk, there might even be a small fear somewhere. But, the person chooses to have faith (assuming they will actually do what they say which in itself is a huge assumption) -- faith and trust here signal a behavior commitment or intention despite a risk.
If we don't separate the two words, we are perhaps letting in people who are not cognizant of the risk into the same group of believers who are actually choosing to take a risk. It's a huge difference! The first group is feeling relieved bc they are thinking there isn't a risk, the other group is choosing it as practice/intention/commitment I am sure these differences in how people use these words show up in how they behave and even use their religion/or trust individuals. This distinction may even serve religious or just overall non-believers to ask the right questions to the right type of "believers".
Personally, why I commit to putting faith is bc sonetines you really don't know what you don't know. So, some calculated risk may be beneficial here. Sometimes, you set a goal, an intention, something slightly imaginable - so the action precedes the thought and thought syncs with action in retrospective understanding,
^^Compare its etymology to its definition. It lost its meaning over time, perhaps as people confused thought with action - assuming action was indeed aligned with thought - assuming it is synchronized instantaneously perhaps. In our new definition of the word, believing is more close to letting yourself be brainwashed than is "putting faith in" or "trusting in". These words better represent religious/spiritual/emotional meaning these days. The use of the word believe can be misleading; it may imply that the "believer" or the person putting faith in or trust in something is not aware or not fully acknowledging some possibility of doubt. But, I'd argue that most people that decide to put faith in things and feel strongly about it through experience of faith, trust, and commitment would indeed agree that there is doubt. In fact, there is risk, there might even be a small fear somewhere. But, the person chooses to have faith (assuming they will actually do what they say which in itself is a huge assumption) -- faith and trust here signal a behavior commitment or intention despite a risk.
If we don't separate the two words, we are perhaps letting in people who are not cognizant of the risk into the same group of believers who are actually choosing to take a risk. It's a huge difference! The first group is feeling relieved bc they are thinking there isn't a risk, the other group is choosing it as practice/intention/commitment I am sure these differences in how people use these words show up in how they behave and even use their religion/or trust individuals. This distinction may even serve religious or just overall non-believers to ask the right questions to the right type of "believers".
Personally, why I commit to putting faith is bc sonetines you really don't know what you don't know. So, some calculated risk may be beneficial here. Sometimes, you set a goal, an intention, something slightly imaginable - so the action precedes the thought and thought syncs with action in retrospective understanding,
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