The American School System constantly emphasized this idea that I should continue being unique, that I should continue celebrating my individuality. At some point, I realized that I might have listened to this more seriously and more deeply than my fellow classmates were listening. But perhaps it was already too late; I was already loving this whole being unique thing. I still love it. It definitely feeds my sense of self-worth and pride. Haha, but on my low days and more often as I have gotten older, I definitely wonder if the teachers I listened to even practiced what they preached, if they truly knew what it might cost their students if this is what they followed.
I guess what I am saying is, I wonder if I would have chosen this path knowing what the costs would be. What are these costs I am talking about, you ask? Well, of course, non-conformity means you have to put more communication effort to explain yourself if you choose to be in connection with other people. Plus, the distances in ideologies might be higher from one individual to another (something I legitimately explore in a research paper of mine), and these were self-created (though indirect in some sense) distances! So, now you've created larger distances between you and others and you have to now spend more time communicating yourself if you do indeed find someone who is willing to stay in connection to listen and communicate with you at such length!!
Benefits of being unique? Well, there is immense self-pleasure. You do feel like a monopoly product and bow less to competitive pressures. This makes life more fun for you and those around you. You might even inspire others to do this for themselves and feel this for themselves, and find connection in your love for own individuality (ideal scenario of course, and not impossible at all but rare perhaps)! You also will have interesting conversations with whomever you meet because you are not all the same, so you get to share and explore why why not. You also get to find yourself judging or feel judged -- so you get an opportunity to improve at not doing this! In the process, maybe you find deeper love and appreciation for people, which is not founded on similarities in personality, but is founded on embracing differences and on digging for more fundamental human commonness. Since this is not easy, if you do get to accomplish this, you feel even better about your hard work and growth in life. You feel happy that you did not need to control others to be similar to you as you did not want to be similar to them - and YET you are loved and are in connection. You feel closer to loving unconditionally and being unconditionally loved (lol because conditions are just perhaps harder to get met, and the need for love undying, so you do the best that you can). And perhaps, benefits outweigh costs? I can't say for sure yet. I'm part of the experiment.
I guess what I wonder is: did the people giving advice think about all of this? They pushed us into motion of this sort -- why? Did they consider telling us the costs? Or did they themselves not realize the costs because they were perhaps not even aware of what it was like to become more and more unique? They pushed us into motion and waited for equilibria to occur or not?
I cannot change what happened, of course, and for the most part, I love that it did happen that way. I am also the sorta person that would say this regardless of what happens, I know. But, the next relevant question is: what would I tell my kids? What do I want to tell others? I guess my current approach is to lay out for someone what I know - to let them know costs and benefits as I see them, and let them decide for themselves...
I guess the one thing that I did not see ENOUGH encouragement of in the school system was how to DEAL with and grapple with individuality and diversity among people at a deeper connection level - beyond classroom and workplace interactions of the superficial kind. Maybe, if going forward, we truly found ways and tools to communicate and find comfort in differences and diversity, we would realize the more promising theoretical benefits of being unique.
I guess what I am saying is, I wonder if I would have chosen this path knowing what the costs would be. What are these costs I am talking about, you ask? Well, of course, non-conformity means you have to put more communication effort to explain yourself if you choose to be in connection with other people. Plus, the distances in ideologies might be higher from one individual to another (something I legitimately explore in a research paper of mine), and these were self-created (though indirect in some sense) distances! So, now you've created larger distances between you and others and you have to now spend more time communicating yourself if you do indeed find someone who is willing to stay in connection to listen and communicate with you at such length!!
Benefits of being unique? Well, there is immense self-pleasure. You do feel like a monopoly product and bow less to competitive pressures. This makes life more fun for you and those around you. You might even inspire others to do this for themselves and feel this for themselves, and find connection in your love for own individuality (ideal scenario of course, and not impossible at all but rare perhaps)! You also will have interesting conversations with whomever you meet because you are not all the same, so you get to share and explore why why not. You also get to find yourself judging or feel judged -- so you get an opportunity to improve at not doing this! In the process, maybe you find deeper love and appreciation for people, which is not founded on similarities in personality, but is founded on embracing differences and on digging for more fundamental human commonness. Since this is not easy, if you do get to accomplish this, you feel even better about your hard work and growth in life. You feel happy that you did not need to control others to be similar to you as you did not want to be similar to them - and YET you are loved and are in connection. You feel closer to loving unconditionally and being unconditionally loved (lol because conditions are just perhaps harder to get met, and the need for love undying, so you do the best that you can). And perhaps, benefits outweigh costs? I can't say for sure yet. I'm part of the experiment.
I guess what I wonder is: did the people giving advice think about all of this? They pushed us into motion of this sort -- why? Did they consider telling us the costs? Or did they themselves not realize the costs because they were perhaps not even aware of what it was like to become more and more unique? They pushed us into motion and waited for equilibria to occur or not?
I cannot change what happened, of course, and for the most part, I love that it did happen that way. I am also the sorta person that would say this regardless of what happens, I know. But, the next relevant question is: what would I tell my kids? What do I want to tell others? I guess my current approach is to lay out for someone what I know - to let them know costs and benefits as I see them, and let them decide for themselves...
I guess the one thing that I did not see ENOUGH encouragement of in the school system was how to DEAL with and grapple with individuality and diversity among people at a deeper connection level - beyond classroom and workplace interactions of the superficial kind. Maybe, if going forward, we truly found ways and tools to communicate and find comfort in differences and diversity, we would realize the more promising theoretical benefits of being unique.
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