The Simple Secret to Happiness

Here's a little thought about happiness: when we have interactions with people that make us happy, when we choose to be happy, when we make choices that make us happy, we get to know what MAKES us happy. When we FEEL happy, we understand what happiness FEELS like. Then, we WANT to create more of it. And if we were somewhat conscious about what it was TRULY that made us happy in that moment, then we get closer and closer to the CAUSE of happiness. The closer we get to the cause of happiness, the more we can create happiness intentionally in all that we choose to do. One happy moment creation at a time, we teach other and inspire each other into more happiness creation. #masterhappinesscreators #getexperiencedinbeinghappy #collectobservationsonwhatmakesyouhappy #thengoresearcheronallthatdata

So many ways to go

If we are to happily walk together for eternity, it would be ideal for both of us to self-select our way onto the same path, I guess. 

What if there were only 4 people...

I know there might already be a movie about this. Or perhaps someone will copy this post some day. Or there are others that have wondered this.

What if...

What if...there were 4 people in the world...?

4 people... who had so much love inside them... so much so that they couldn't help but love..

It was a bit too much love at first...

And just like any superhero needs to learn how to channel and wield his/her powers, so did these 4 people..

Then what did they do? They created love.

Truly. Wherever they went.

Simply.

By being.

And as long as they believed - the world ran.

People knew love because they met these 4 people -- then passed it along -- till all people slowly understood and had these essences of love.

Could people other than these 4 people power the world?

These 4 people certainly hoped so.

Would love spread? grow? Would it live in others?

Have these 4 people built something forever?

That part of them they shared, does it live on? Can it be destroyed?

Sure, maybe it is not understood by everyone -- but does it ever really go away?

It is built, it is there.

What happens if one of the 4 has a catastrophic tragedy -- what happens to everyone else?

Do they feel that rippling pain in their hearts too?

Perhaps..!

Each moment of love creation, love exchange, true kindness, true love, does it stand as Truth?

Does it torment the non-believer, the non-receiver, the logical know-it-all?

Will love necessarily penetrate such a soul?

Or is that not the way love works?

Love supports and surrounds and cushions - is that right?

Could it possibly ask for recognition? Could it ever hold itself back?

No, of course not : )

Perhaps it only takes very few hearts to power and empower this whole world ---

Wouldn't this speak volumes about the magnitude of this thing or non-thing we call < - 3

Song Share

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1BG_5Pk5Bg

America said "be unique, be yourself", so I did it

The American School System constantly emphasized this idea that I should continue being unique, that I should continue celebrating my individuality. At some point, I realized that I might have listened to this more seriously and more deeply than my fellow classmates were listening. But perhaps it was already too late; I was already loving this whole being unique thing. I still love it. It definitely feeds my sense of self-worth and pride. Haha, but on my low days and more often as I have gotten older, I definitely wonder if the teachers I listened to even practiced what they preached, if they truly knew what it might cost their students if this is what they followed.

I guess what I am saying is, I wonder if I would have chosen this path knowing what the costs would be. What are these costs I am talking about, you ask? Well, of course, non-conformity means you have to put more communication effort to explain yourself if you choose to be in connection with other people. Plus, the distances in ideologies might be higher from one individual to another (something I legitimately explore in a research paper of mine), and these were self-created (though indirect in some sense) distances! So, now you've created larger distances between you and others and you have to now spend more time communicating yourself if you do indeed find someone who is willing to stay in connection to listen and communicate with you at such length!!

Benefits of being unique? Well, there is immense self-pleasure. You do feel like a monopoly product and bow less to competitive pressures. This makes life more fun for you and those around you. You might even inspire others to do this for themselves and feel this for themselves, and find connection in your love for own individuality (ideal scenario of course, and not impossible at all but rare perhaps)! You also will have interesting conversations with whomever you meet because you are not all the same, so you get to share and explore why why not. You also get to find yourself judging or feel judged -- so you get an opportunity to improve at not doing this! In the process, maybe you find deeper love and appreciation for people, which is not founded on similarities in personality, but is founded on embracing differences and on digging for more fundamental human commonness. Since this is not easy, if you do get to accomplish this, you feel even better about your hard work and growth in life. You feel happy that you did not need to control others to be similar to you as you did not want to be similar to them - and YET you are loved and are in connection. You feel closer to loving unconditionally and being unconditionally loved (lol because conditions are just perhaps harder to get met, and the need for love undying, so you do the best that you can). And perhaps, benefits outweigh costs? I can't say for sure yet. I'm part of the experiment.

I guess what I wonder is: did the people giving advice think about all of this? They pushed us into motion of this sort -- why? Did they consider telling us the costs? Or did they themselves not realize the costs because they were perhaps not even aware of what it was like to become more and more unique? They pushed us into motion and waited for equilibria to occur or not?

I cannot change what happened, of course, and for the most part, I love that it did happen that way. I am also the sorta person that would say this regardless of what happens, I know. But, the next relevant question is: what would I tell my kids? What do I want to tell others? I guess my current approach is to lay out for someone what I know - to let them know costs and benefits as I see them, and let them decide for themselves...

I guess the one thing that I did not see ENOUGH encouragement of in the school system was how to DEAL with and grapple with individuality and diversity among people at a deeper connection level - beyond classroom and workplace interactions of the superficial kind. Maybe, if going forward, we truly found ways and tools to communicate and find comfort in differences and diversity, we would realize the more promising theoretical benefits of being unique.

Toota toota ek parinda aise toota...

THE TRUE SUFI

What makes the Sufi? Purity of heart;
Not the patched mantle and the lust perverse
Of those vile earth-bound men who steal his name.
He in all dregs discerns the essence pure:
In hardship ease, in tribulation joy.
The phantom sentries, who with batons drawn
Guard Beauty's place-gate and curtained bower,
Give way before him, unafraid he passes,
And showing the King's arrow, enters in. 
-R.A. Nicholson

Ke phir allah ke bande has de, jo bhi ho kal phir aayega; lessons and reminders in resilience

Love and Namaste

“What I had thought of before as God," Rumi said, “I met today in a human being.” 

Love and Namaste.

Believe is the wrong word. Check its evolution.

Believe is the wrong word. http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=belief
^^Compare its etymology to its definition. It lost its meaning over time, perhaps as people confused thought with action - assuming action was indeed aligned with thought - assuming it is synchronized instantaneously perhaps. In our new definition of the word, believing is more close to letting yourself be brainwashed than is "putting faith in" or "trusting in". These words better represent religious/spiritual/emotional meaning these days. The use of the word believe can be misleading; it may imply that the "believer" or the person putting faith in or trust in something is not aware or not fully acknowledging some possibility of doubt. But, I'd argue that most people that decide to put faith in things and feel strongly about it through experience of faith, trust, and commitment would indeed agree that there is doubt. In fact, there is risk, there might even be a small fear somewhere. But, the person chooses to have faith (assuming they will actually do what they say which in itself is a huge assumption) -- faith and trust here signal a behavior commitment or intention despite a risk.

If we don't separate the two words, we are perhaps letting in people who are not cognizant of the risk into the same group of believers who are actually choosing to take a risk. It's a huge difference! The first group is feeling relieved bc they are thinking there isn't a risk, the other group is choosing it as practice/intention/commitment I am sure these differences in how people use these words show up in how they behave and even use their religion/or trust individuals. This distinction may even serve religious or just overall non-believers to ask the right questions to the right type of "believers".

Personally, why I commit to putting faith is bc sonetines you really don't know what you don't know. So, some calculated risk may be beneficial here. Sometimes, you set a goal, an intention, something slightly imaginable - so the action precedes the thought and thought syncs with action in retrospective understanding, 

You are what you eat, eh?

You are what you eat, eh?

I am a swirling ocean,

of dark chocolate and coffee,

bitter sweet stimulation,

causing no real harm, 

mostly just regal candy,

lowering blood pressure, 

and painting things cuter,

I am green truthful avocado creaminess,

keen kale sharpness,

egg white simplicity and strength,

with flowing almond richness,

and H20 neutralizing fluidity.

I’m a small chocolate garden,

Of tomatoes, zucchini, squash,

With apple trees galore,

Sometimes a pond with samon and mahi-mahi,

But mostly I’m lentils and basic spices,

Exotic and modern ethnic earthiness,
Flying and floating my balancing dance,

Trying to go decaf soon..

~sisterhood is real and happens if we let it~

It is so amazing to see my cute network of sister friends creep in from here and there from time to time and send their love. Nothing like it. Really. If I am quiet or kinda taking my time out one day, I swear I'll be showered in love through texts/emails/shares of high positive energy and beautiful golden love gestures. I loved the brothers I grew up with, they loved me in this cute protective way. And life found me sisters.

In a world where everyone thinks women hate women (and don't get me wrong, it wasn't that easy to get to this point with these friends, nor was it so planned, and I also had to lose some friends along the way :/), believing the world would never have gotten me here. I know it's a cliche ted talk thing to say that don't listen to others, they'll kill your dreams - I've almost always seen it to be true in my life. Dreaming/believing/imagining has brought me through my own unique journey in life I really doubt many people have seen or can see or can share/verbalize. Sisterhood exists, it is real, it is possible, it takes time and work and willingness like anything else. But it is so worth it, so uplifting, so fulfilling, especially in the face of its seeming odds in the world. It makes life more beautiful for everyone around - we need the women, we need them to work together, and we need them to pick each other up, and we need to bring our men in on this aspect of our women and our human amazingness. Spirals of miracles.

Losing at something I thought I was awesome at...

There's a particular sentence in my dating profile description that I was pondering the other day, "..I absolutely love to lose at something I am awesome at.." Hmmmm.... I was recently wondering how true it still was about myself - have I really been recognizing defeat and finding thrill in it like I claim is typical of me? And boom. I just realized today that I am a pretty mean person inside, that I also get jealous, I am also acting from places of low self-worth etc, and am not acting with the highest love towards myself and those I claim to love. Like WHOA! That truly shatters so much of my self-concept.

So, do I love losing at something I thought I was awesome at? In truth, yes I still do. The humbling process is so amazing. This is what love and the intention to love does, I think. When I love someone, it inspires me to dig deeper, and SEE myself more. Because I truly want to love and not hinder/hurt the other (perhaps because I also know that I actually am not so loving and kind deep down?), but my own stuff gets in the way. It's amazing how our surface tools are thoroughly trained and programmed to blame others, to trap us in the same thought processes that we now need to break.

I guess I am just getting to know more of me, and see if I can find a way to handle and love these dark and un-pretty sides of myself. I feel expanded for sure - but now it's a matter of seeing whether I can manage all that I have seen. How can I navigate through this overwhelm of stuff I have awakened to? These are usually aspects of others I don't like, but lol, here they are, inside me - harder to see, but waiting to be seen, asking for my attention and knowing. Mirror analogy, yes. Finger pointing analogy, yes.

Honestly, it feels like a tearing apart of my insides - where there is a zipper going down the center of my body that has been brutally taken down. In some sense, I like that I am no different than others -- finally, a platform for more connection! In another sense, I feel like a hypocrite, I feel guilty for acting out of non-knowing this whole time, thinking highly of myself, when I am made of the same stuff.

But this defeat feels good. It has pushed me deeper, expanded my awareness of self and other bubbsies around me, and has challenged my ability to manage and love myself anew. Not the old already uncovered parts, but the newly uncovering ones. Losing isn't easy to grapple with, but it is welcome.

Holy Shit - is there someone in the house?!

I definitely heard someone go into the bathroom. I called out to check if it was my roommate. She had just texted me she was at a friend's. So, who just entered. Why. How. Someone is in my bathroom. I don't want to use my laptop as a weapon. Luckily, Stiglitz and Atkinson wrote a big Public Lectures book. It's perfect. I step outside - all alert. Roommate - is it you, I call out again...and she answers casually.

I wonder if she finds my panic unfounded. I wonder if she is proud of me for thinking through things and being prepared with a nice weapon in decent time. I wonder if she thinks I am nuts. I wonder if I am nuts. Well, I think this gives me a fun story.

Also, it reminds me of when at my first apartment in the US, I had left the house, but had forgotten something. My dad was working from home. I run up the stairs with my 140 lbs body of those days, with my Punjabi heavy footsteps, running up carefree in my house. Only to find my dear daddy-o holding a weapon (I don't remember what he it was - perhaps a thick newspaper rolled up?), ready to hurt the possible perpetrator of his home. His first reaction (perhaps concealing his fear) was anger at how loud and scary and fast I had run upstairs. Haha, it was funny to me. But he was serious. Knowing him, I am sure he also found it funny at some point. But not immediately and not too visibly. It was cute to see my dad all freaked out and scared and then covering up and playing dad. I also used to do this thing where I would be ready to duck out from behind the wall each time he went to the bathroom at home. And he would legitimately get scared - I used to find it cute funny for a short while, and it would still make him laugh. But after a couple of times of seeing how truly scared he would get, I stopped doing it. I love and miss my daddy-o, and how he would laugh because it was his crazy daughter running pranks, despite his clear moments of fear for his life. I made my mom totally lol today over facetime (success!) - and she compared my humor to my dad's.

Love. 

I am pressed for time too

I want people I care about to indeed feel that I have all the time in the world for them. That they are the only person I care about and am helping. But it would also be nice if after receiving this, they slightly looked up and saw that I am actually doing this for several of my friends and family. So maybe they could pick up some of their own slack now, and offer to pick up mine. Sigh. But as it is with expecting others to do something -- I need to do it for myself -- and I willllll I guess. Love. So simple yet so complicated.

Dear Hacker,

I was hacked, and it is not okay,
Call me crazy if you will,
You're out there somewhere,
You know who you are,
Hiding behind your cowardice,
And behind your need for control,
Behind your shame and embarrassment to approach me,
Behind your need to cover up your true self,
Behind your lack of integrity,
Behind your arrogance,
Behind the pretense of whatever excuse you give yourself for doing this,
Behind all of this, I see a scared soul.
Maybe you could have come to me in shining armor instead,
One of humility, love, vulnerability, and some dignity.
Yes, that would have been nice.
Even inspiring perhaps!
But that would have taken courage.
And I'm not sure you can know true courage from where you are hiding.
Thank you for yet another lesson,
For teaching me I don't like being hacked,
Even if I am clean and transparent;
For teaching me I don't like being invaded by force or secrecy,
Even when I choose to be utterly vulnerable and open to the core.
Thank you for teaching me that I need to draw cleaner boundaries,
And keep my things well locked and protected from assholes like you.
You're right, I need new keys and stronger safe guards in place.

Equilibrium might be overrated - let's maximize welfare instead

I won't lie; I do enjoy that my out-of-equilibrium moves can throw you off. I am working to keep the inner stuff in balance - can't worry about it all making sense on the outside to you right away. #selfrelianceralphwaldoemerson #stickaroundandmaybeyoullgetit #ordont #flyawayandenjoyyourselfifyouwillwould

I am not seeking to predict your moves either - surprise me if you would - and I hope I would allow for your authenticity to flourish with deep respect and love.

~love``boom and some more```

~Warrior Princess~ with all her might and humility

I’m a warrior,

Warrior by heart,

Warrior with love,

Warrior today and forevermore

I’m a warrior,

I summon my forces,

I gather my allies,

And I seek within

I’m a warrior by birth,

Warrior by choice,

Warrior in ecstasy,

A warrior for peace
A warrior for joy

I battle with battling

I battle with my closing heart

I battle with what I do not wish to be

I battle my self-imposed boundaries
I battle my fears

I battle my dark
I battle my resistance to expand
I will against unwillingness

I feel the pain

I feel the discomfort

And I battle that

Because I am a warrior 

And a warrior princess at that

Nothing more, nothing less

Warrior princess,

Surrounded by warriors,

Some wounded some hurt, 

Warriors nonetheless

And together, we make more

A kingdom and queendom of warriors 

Warriors of love

Warriors with wide open hearts

I surrender some battles for the sake of this war,

I’m here, here to stay, here to love as best as I know how.

I feel the pulls of gender roles

There are currently many awesome life techniques that I find enticing – and I know these work – these are some techniques I want to take up because I think they help me accomplish goals and not get stuck somewhere without my goals being fulfilled. I hesitate though, because these are typically associated to being “manly” approaches to the world. They are less “girly” so to say – being assertive, being free, being open-minded, letting things go, being less miserly, being ambitious/motivated/enthused, being world-wiser, and being entrepreneurial.

It isn’t that I don’t know girls with these same amazing qualities – I do. Some of them have been my inspiration in helping me reach this point today. But somewhere, I honestly feel restricted in our ability to express who we are truly because we are trying to fit this gender role. Even when no one is imposing a standard on us, of course we are afraid to take on this new role – which may have unforeseen/ unknown/ unpredictable consequences for our lives. I’d be lying if I said I don’t notice this fear within me. Yet, I also have a commitment to honor my realizations.

So, why is it that men seem to have some of these life skills down? Why are they seemingly more forgiving? Why do they stress less? Even women would agree that “other women” do not easily exhibit thes behaviors. I saw a post on facebook the other day with men telling each other, “don’t try to understand women; women understand each other, and they hate each other.” I could understand where this post was coming from, unfortunately. Women do understand each other! But why don't women support each other? Why do we suppress each other? Why are we jealous? What is the fear? Why are women the ones that have these traits more so, and not men? Is it because there is some deep rooted feeling of “not good enough-ness” pervading in society that we need to overcome? And as some of us overcome it one step at a time– we are headed towards what seems “manly” but perhaps is just part of “human” evolution as people explore more sides of themselves, unrestricted by gender roles?

I realize, that men too are probably struggling with coming off “womanly” when they explore more sides of them. I wish we would let each other be – and see what comes about. Why would we restrict our men or our women to not be their full human selves? Isn’t this the ultimate merging of masculine and feminine within oneself? Why are we seeking to be halves when we can be “whole” as Oprah would term it? Why can’t be wholly human and STILL choose a partner just as whole as us – each capable of carrying forth any role, not feeling limited by his/her own “inability” to do the other gender’s roles.

So much love; in honor of all that I understand and all that I humbly don’t.

My love has monopoly power

My love has monopoly power, but it is also free of charge. 

The Domino Effect of Broken Hearts

If I didn't believe in true love (even if it is the power of a placebo effect), I would deeply be saddened by the observed domino effect of broken hearts. Instead, I make a prayer every day of my life, and a commitment to myself - to convert any hurt into love, and of course to convert love into more love.

Claire Underwood said (something like this) to Francis in an episode, "the hate will still remain, and you will use it..." ..to blah blah do more evil. It was deep/dark - it made me love the show. I choose the light side of this aspect of human nature - I wish that each hurt person understands how precious their love was, loves their own ability to love, and chooses to love more.

Adding more love to smoothen out the domino ripples.

What is love, I wonder...

I do my best each day with pouring love into the world. I hope it gets received and understood, and if not now, then later. In this way, I guess love stands true and constant across time - this is love. The understanding of this love or how it is used when given, when received changed and may be understood as different forms of love - yet it still remains love at its essence (or what remains and something does remain IS the essence). This is love. But I guess this is not all that it is either. 

It's all a beautiful balancing act, all of this here.

Dating in the modern world. Biggest tip: discuss which page you are on. Assess whether that part is true. And then from there on, things go better and more smoothly, but no body is saying it would be easy.

Here's what I have learned: People go back and forth with closing and opening the doors of their hearts. If two people understand this about each other, they already have a great foundation for being together: this wisdom and this knowledge.

I have often heard in quotes that "...a heart cannot be broken, only barriers around that heart can be broken."The true relationship comes from keeping these barriers open. If our barriers are too ready to come back up - it says something about us. If they are not at all ready to come up, we set no boundaries that define who we are. 

Maybe when heart doors become barriers, we have a problem. And to the extent that we have doors, and not barriers, we still have to juggle with and refine our judgment regarding how often to open our heart, who to open our heart to, and when to do it. 

What is love? When does it happen?

It is always possible. Love always exists, it is always possible. We destroy our seeds of love from time to time. It's as though we do not yet know how to nourish a plant. But if we are willing, we nurture this plant, and do not give up learning to plant together, love is bound to happen again and again - whether it actualizes fully or not is a different issue. How long it lives for is up to the intrinsic nature of the plant and the nurturer.

So what amazes me the most?

When two people choose to be together, the Universe has allowed for these odds to work in their favor - or they are just smart enough to get here quickly (but who allowed the opportunities that allowed for them to get this smart etc etc (lending again into the Universe argument maybe)?).  The timing of their open doors has matched. In addition, the level of openness has supported an equilibrium. Their heart connection has maintained a balance. As long as they maintain this balance, this dance, there exists a plant. The plant reflects the nature of nurturing, the true nature of the original components that went into it. Its survival represents the optimal balance needed, and the grace and continuation with which is grows qualifies some of this amazing love as a beautiful dance - but a partnership dance.

Tangent: The kind of partnership dance that is so second nature in latin culture. What other cultures have such dances? or teach and understand such dances?